


A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Thor's Hammer

by ren (renegadewriter)



Series: Don't Make Agent Coulson Polite and Friendly. You Won't Like it When He's Polite and Friendly [1]
Category: Marvel (Movies), The Avengers (2012), The Avengers - All Fandoms, Thor (2011)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-27
Updated: 2012-07-27
Packaged: 2017-11-10 20:21:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/470293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/renegadewriter/pseuds/ren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QAMgkpQYOSQ"><strong>this mini one-shot clip of Coulson being a serious bad ass</strong></a>. Recommend you watch it first before you read this. </p><p>Clint knows about what happened at the gas station, he reacts accordingly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Thor's Hammer

**Author's Note:**

> \- Saw this beauty when I was looking up some info on Coulson.

 

Coulson stared at the scene below him: people were setting camp around the large crater, a line forming quickly as man after man, and a few women, tried to lift the large hammer. It looked like a scene straight out of Excalibur, but with more enthusiasm, cheering, friendly jabs… and a barbecue grill. 

Shaking his head in amusement, Phil reached into his pocket as his cellphone vibrated. It had been less than a minute since he had finished his call with Fury; there was no reason for anyone to be calling him, unless there was an emergency. A team was being deployed to meet him at the site. They needed to secure the area quickly, before someone came along who _could_ lift the strange artifact and make a break for it.

"Coulson."

**_‘So, how's New Mexico?’_ **

Phil smiled at the voice on the other end, Clint's tone cocky and teasing. 

"Hot." 

**_‘Uh huh...’_** There was a pause, the archer clearly waiting for something more. **_‘And…’_** He prompted. 

"…Dusty." He was glad no one was there to see him smile at Barton's exasperated sigh. The man didn't really have the patience to drag conversation out of Coulson, and Phil should feel slightly bad for being purposely obtuse. 

**_‘So you didn't stop for gas on the way by any chance? There weren’t any..._ disturbances _?’_**

Oh. That. 

"How many times have I told you that stalking people is also a form of sexual harassment." 

**_‘Oh shucks, you like it.’_ **

Rolling his eyes under the black shades, Coulson let out a sigh. "Leave the cameras alone. Leave my GSP system alone. In fact, leave the security techs alone. I will not like coming home only to have more paper work involving your 'terrorizing' exploits again." 

**_‘Yeaaaah.. about that.’_ **

It was a gift of Clint's how his casual tone could say _so painfully_ much. 

"What did you do."

**_‘Weeeell. Seeing as you are incapable of going through one tiny mission, in a tiny town, in the middle of nowhere without getting into trouble - seriously, Coulson,_ a gas station getting robbed _? You're cursed sir - I decided to join the task team Fury is sending.’_**

Phil blinked. That team had been waiting for his signal ever since Fury sent him straight from Malibu to New Mexico. It was supposed to be top secret, clearance level 7 the only ones in the know, and he was extremely sure Agent Barton hadn't been part of the team. 

"Stay away from the vents above the meeting rooms Barton."

**_‘Nope! See ya in a few hours, and please try to stay out of trouble until I get there to guard your honor.’_ **

**_‘Barton!’_** A voice yelled in the background. 

**_‘Ohoo Sitwell is giving me the evil eye. Gotta go. Later Sir!’_ **

The line went dead with a click, Clint's cheery tone behind the no doubt shit-eating-grin on his face falling silent. Coulson felt something warm in his chest, something that always happened after he had a conversation with the younger man.. or at least, when said conversation didn't involve threats to taser and drag him to the infirmary after a mission, or lecture him on the inappropriate use of office utensils as projectiles, or when he would build a new 'nest' on base, or terrorize the new recruits…. 

Sighing in a fondly exasperated manner, Phil took one more look at the civilians cheering as a man in a white pick-up tried to remove the hammer, only for the back platings to be torn right off, before turning to get back in the rental car. 

He had to get ready to explain Barton’s sudden presence on a top secret mission he had _not_ been assigned for to Fury. 

Again. 


End file.
